why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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