addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
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I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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