the condom got lost in my hair
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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