Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
