I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
