that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
