I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
