that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
