on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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