ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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