my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
