I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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