windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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