well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
