Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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