dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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