i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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