If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
