Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if you like me you must not know who I am
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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