Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I understand Curling. That high.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
