Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I could fuck to npr.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
