She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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