so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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