my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
