Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
