it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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