i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize