Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
