I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
meet me or not, i'm out of control
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
