how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?