If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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