I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
