My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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