she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
