It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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