Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
