her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
