I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
