Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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