i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
