I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
