big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
