omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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