Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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