It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and she was petting her beer can
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The uberlube is also flammable
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
