you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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