you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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