if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize