There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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