ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
