remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
