whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
