WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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