doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
