how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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