my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
