oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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