I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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