covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We got so high we made milksteak
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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