There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
