is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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