You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize