I heard we made out
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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