Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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