Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just puked most of my soul out..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
