Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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