you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It was confusing and full of hummus
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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