..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
