They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
