He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
As shirtless as possible
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
